Rants. Inspirations. Xiance?

I hate our situation, where most of our communication is via text. How can I sincerely show that I’m not the guy you used to know? … That I am ready to do this again without any hesitation even after hearing some negative news. My “XD”, “:))” and “:P” are not enough to convey the emotions that I want you to feel. I hate that we’re far apart, and that somebody else is closer to you. I hate reading your messages with your “haha” and “hehe”, because I want it to be heard directly from you.

I hate being left out because of my background. Since high school, I hate how my friends talk about stuff then hushes when I arrive saying that “wag dyan, mabait yan” or “bata pa yan.” I hate how people ask me if I ever had a girlfriend and saying that “bata pa pala e” whenever I say that I haven’t had one. For goodness’ sake, maturity doesn’t come with the number of relationships that a person had. I know some who had their share of commitments but are still childish.

I hate knowing a person too well that I can tell if he or she is hiding something from me. I respect their privacy and their decision of not telling me things and I don’t hold it against them, since I’m also the same most of the time. I want to tell myself that it’s okay, but still, there’s a pang of sadness whenever you think about it.

I hate how it’s difficult to set a get-together with your closest friends out of the whole barkada. Being in a barkada of almost two dozen people, I have already acknowledged the fact that there are smaller groups, or what I would call as “closer circles.” And everytime I try to have a dinner or an appointment with my “closer circle,” another member will be included, or most of the time, the plan would not pursue. Don’t get me wrong with the first one, I want to be with the whole bunch, but there were times, that you want talk about things with the “closer circle” before sharing it with the whole group, and I hate that I rarely had those chances.

Malamang, maluwag ang aking linggo dahil nakakagawa pa ako ng lathaing ito at nakakapanood pa ako ng mga pelikula at palabas sa telebisyon. Pero alam ko namang panandalian lamang ito. Nagbabasa ako ng mga bagay-bagay sa internet nang mabasa ko itong sinulat ng isang Pilipina. Ayon sa kanya, naiinggit siya dahil “fluent” sa pagsasalita ang mga Thai ng kanilang sariling wika habang tayong mga Pilipino ay lagi nang nagsisingit ng mga banyagang salita sa ating mga pangungusap.

Napansin ko rin ito dati, pero hindi sa mga Thai. Napansin ko ito sa mga Hapon at Korean. Siguro nasisingit din naman nang kaunti ang mga wikang banyaga (binibigyang diin ang wikang Ingles) sa kanilang pang-araw-araw na salita, pero hindi sa ganoong antas ng nangyayari dito. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang kalagayan sa ibang bahagi ng bansa, kaya ang anumang sasabihin ko rito ay ukol sa aking mga namamasdan sa aking sarili, mga kamag-anak, mga kakilala, mga nakakasalamuha at mga kaibigan.

Kung papansinin ko talaga ang aking pagsasalita, malalamang kong hindi ako makagagawa ng humigit dalawang pangungusap na hindi nagsisingit ng banyagang salita. Sa pagsusulat pa lamang nito ay nahihirapan na akong umiwas sa mga salitang tulad ng ‘normal’ at ‘lebel’.

Hindi ko na alam kung paano ang magiging balangkas ng aking sinusulat. Hahaha.

1. Sa aking sarili, natatakot akong malimutan ang mga salitang Tagalog. Kaya naman napagpasyahan kong pumunta sa silid-aklatan sa Kolehiyo ng Arte at Literatura upang tingnan ang talahulugang English-Filipino at tingnan ang isa o dalawang banyagang salita na madalas kong gamitin.

2. Kung gaano tayo kakritiko sa balarila ng Ingles, ganoon naman tayo kapabaya sa balarila ng wikang Filipino at/o Tagalog. Halimbawa na lamang ang paggamit ng mga katagang ‘ng’ at ‘nang’.

— Dudugtungan ko ito kapag bumalik na ang panagano (mood daw ayon sa Google Translate) ko.
— Salamat sa Google Translate sa pagpapaalala ng ilang salita. Ngunit hindi ko alam kung ang iba ay tama nga. XD

It’s been a long time since I’ve updated this blog. Since it’s Christmas time, I’m gonna post this wishlist. Christmas is more than gifts and material things. I know it, but I’m still gonna write this one. It just give you some sort of satisfaction(?), even though you know that there’s only a small probability that you’ll get what you want. In the end, you’ll be the one buying those things for yourself.

Things I want and/or need:
1. A digital multimeter!! Yes! Being a EEE student, I really need this.
2. Sony Ericsson Earphones! I miss listening to music without my laptop, especially in my idle times. And with the gadgets I currently have, the only way to do it is listen from my phone. A bluetooth headset will be good so that I can let my phone play while sleeping without the thought of being tangled by the wire.
3. Portable Hard Disk. Storage Capacity should be greater than 320 Gb. The one I have now is nearly full of movies and TV shows.
4. Electronic Violin Tuner! So that I can easily tune my violin, and of course, play it!
5. QC Bearmonster Hoodie!! See it here!! I still have a gray hoodie which is useful nowadays since my classes are all in super cold rooms, but another hoodie won’t hurt, right? Ow, no. It will hurt. It will hurt my wallet.
6. Another QC merchandise, but now’s shirt. Look at this! Isn’t it cute? haha.
7. Albums, albums, albums! I know that I can easily download these albums, but heck, I want original albums! Here are some albums I want:
—> Kina Grannis’ Stairwells
—> David Choi’s By My Side
—> Gabe Bondoc’s Gentleman EP and Summertime LP
—> The Beelzebubs’ Play The Game
—> Aiza Seguerra’s Aiza Live!
—> Christian Bautista’s Just a Love Song… Christian Bautista Live!
—> Sitti’s My Bossa Nova Live!
—> Juris Fernandez’s Now Playing
8. Cute Cellphone Keychains! And this should be imported. haha. I already have two, one from Thailand and the other from Singapore. This might be a start of a collection. LOL.
9. Coat! Tuxedo Coat! I can imagine Barney Stinson saying “Suit Up!!” I think I’ll be needing this in the near future.
10. Rubber shoes. Something I can use when I jog.

That’s all of it I think.

Nope, I’m lying. I also want an Android phone but my current phone is still working, and I still have a Nokia 3315 in my bag, ready to be used, or ready to be given to holdappers. Haha. A new laptop will also do. My current laptop, which I’m using right now is still in it’s good condition, except for the battery. But the problem is that it’s too big and heavy too bring. I want a smaller one. Something to be used when I want to do some minor things somewhere.

Well, I guess that’s all.

Natype ko na yung first paragraph ng blog na ‘to and I realized na mas okay kung go with the flow lang talaga ang pagtype. Yung tipong hindi mo na ichecheck kung tama yung grammar mo, or kung may mas magandang synonym dahil nagamit mo na yung word na yun before. Though sinabi ko sa about me section na English ang gagamitin ko, ieexcempt ko itong post na ito.

Masyadong nakaka-stress yung mga nakaraang linggo. Hindi lang stress dahil pagod ako at andaming dapat gawin at aralin sa school, kundi stress sa mga bagay na pwede ko namang iwanan, pero dahil sadyang papapel ako at, aaminin ko na, ako yung tipong ang gusto lagi ay maganda ang image, hindi ko maiwanan at pinapakeelaman ko pa. Dahil diyan, napagdesisyunan kong tingan yung sarili ko mula sa ika nga “bird’s eye view,” kung yun man yun, at kung yun man yung talagang ginagawa ko.

Sa kasulukuyang estado ko ngayon, masasabi kong mas nagkaroon ako ng oras sa acads ko at sa sarili ko. Pinag-iisipan ko tuloy kung ipagpapatuloy ko ba tong estadong ito. Sa totoo lang, sa tingin mas gumaan yung pakiramdam ko, kesa dati na maaaring kasama nga ako sa spot light pero hindi naman ako masaya, or kung masaya man, natatabunan naman ng pagkainis at pagkairita kaagad. Mas nakita ko rin na may iba pang buhay maliban sa spot light na yun.

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Lagi kong sinasabi na hindi ako masyadong palatanim ng galit. Pero sa nagdaang mga linggo, mukhang napatunayan kong hindi totoo yun. Well, hindi naman talaga siya galit. Siguro lighter version, let’s say pagkairita.
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